People seem to be understandably curious about authenticity. As one definition of the word is ‘true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character’, I feel this interest reflects a collective yearning for sincerity in an increasingly false world. My commitment to live authentically has been a challenge but also my greatest teacher.
In this article I share what this means for me. The path to my authenticity has required deep self enquiry into all areas in my life, being radically honest about whether they reflect who I am and then having the courage to take action to make changes. It has required disciple and consistency but most importantly resilience because people always offer their opinions and most of them are unfavourable.
Bucking against societal norms is only ever celebrated in hindsight. The brave soul that seeks authenticity is often shunned, taunted, risks losing their reputation, or income. Witnessing this, most people do not believe they have the emotional, psychological and spiritual strength to withstand such treatment, so they choose conformity. But, to paraphrase the quote, you never know how strong you are until that is the only choice you have and similarly, how can you know who you can be if you do not try?
My curiosity about who I could be propelled me forward towards my dreams against the wave of resistance. I could (should) have gone into healthcare like many in my family who chose careers in nursing, midwifery and pharmacology but before I even tried to enter the industry I knew it was not for me.
Yes, I was caring and empathetic however I also had developed a deep passion for creativity, especially music and songwriting. As a young girl I was obsessed with popular music. Every Sunday evening I attended my weekly masterclass, listening to the pop chart countdown. I studied the craft of songwriting, emulating what I heard and then honing my own style. Once I realised that modern music was written by living people who were paid to do it, I wanted in.
However, no-one understood how I could monetise my skill and, I suspect they thought I would eventually tire of my pipe dream and ‘get real’. But that was never going to happen. I knew in my heart that true happiness for me would be as a result of utilising my creativity.
How long do you compromise
Over the years as I worked towards my dreams I had ‘real jobs’ that supported me financially. They taught me many transferable skills. I learned the business structures within various industries and I met people who are still my friends today. However, I also witnessed firsthand the detrimental effects of not having a true passion in life.
We all need something to strive for and if we do not identify what that is for ourselves, we will adopt someone else’s ideal and do everything to protect it. Many colleagues who, like me, had initially taken a job to support their vision give up after one too many rejections and then settled for a career they really did not want. It ate away at them and the sense of hope about their future morphed into bitterness.
I thought that I had found a combination that worked, a full time position at a production company that allowed me time off for performing. All was fine for a while until those old familiar feelings of boredom and frustration returned. I was preparing to leave when fate intervened and I was made redundant.
For many people redundancy is devastating however for me it was an opportunity to get back to focusing on what I desired and reclaim the 3 years of my life I had invested into this now non-existent company.
There was another vital lesson for me that reinforced my conviction to figure out how to live authentically. During the final meeting, as we were handed the paperwork we needed to complete to receive our (meagre) redundancy payments. The MD whose crass behaviour we had endured could not even bring himself to feign an apology or offer gratitude for our efforts. It was a massive wakeup call. I had given so much to someone who blatantly had no respect for me. How was that honouring the hopeful young girl who had stood her ground against all resistance?
Making a different choice
There is so much external pressure to do, be and have at particular moments in our lives however, chasing external validation takes us away from discovering our potential. Living an authentic life is not so much about achieving the goals you have in mind – because the reality always differs from the vision – but more about what you learn about yourself as you journey towards them. Choosing non-negotiable authenticity has rewarded me with inner peace, I do not suffer from the anxiety of indecision or needing people to like me.
My childhood desires have not only satisfied me but now also help others in my work as a Creativity & Spiritual Life Coach, Writer and Podcaster. I have always been inspired by great orators who are memorable because they are authentic so to start my road to mastering public speaking, I joined my local Toastmasters club.
In my experience, choosing to live authentically is the ultimate key to personal satisfaction.
About the Author
Carol Mae Whittick is a member of Toastmasters International, a not-for-profit organisation that has provided communication and leadership skills since 1924 through a worldwide network of clubs. There are more than 400 clubs and 10,000 members in the UK and Ireland. Members follow a structured educational programme to gain skills and confidence in public and impromptu speaking, chairing meetings and time management. To find your nearest club, visit www.toastmasters.org
