By Shristi Patni
Healthy relationships always make you feel better: there’s self-worth, meaningful conversation and peace. But it’s pretty hard to find red flags in an unhealthy relationship. It just makes you feel worse, exhausted, drained and you dislike spending time with that person. Sometimes, it can be gaslighting too, where you feel unworthy and self-loathing.
The sooner you get out of a toxic relationship, the more peaceful your life will be. Here’s how to beware of toxic relationships and if unknowingly you’re stuck, then how to fix that.
1. Lack of Trust and Support
A relationship where you can count on the person, be vulnerable, be yourself, are the signs of a growing relationship.
But if none of this is happening, perhaps you’re stuck in a wrong relationship or there’s more to fix. There must be a sense of security and immense trust in any relationship.
In a healthy relationship, there’s mutual support for each other, where you let the person grow and support in each possible way.
When you both have each other’s back and are aware that no matter what happens, you’re going to grow together.
But if that is lacking, suddenly there’s competition, jealousy, there’s no point in staying together.
2. Hostile Conversations
A hostile conversation involves yelling, using demeaning phrases, physical intimidation, diss, sarcasm and/or throwing things.
Where there’s no room to have meaningful conversations, no kindness; just a place filled with hatred and distress.
A toxic conversation can heat up the atmosphere creating distrust. There’s no respect and advice left. Rather, there’s anguish, avoidance and manipulation.
Instead of talking out and making things simpler, there’s resentment. Holding onto the grudges for a long time and not even concerned discussing with the partner.
A lot of wrong assumptions, misconceptions and revenge involved in any relationship has to be termed toxic. It’s much better to get rid of it before it eats you up!
No one can control your beliefs and life.
This is your life and your call and hence you don’t owe justifications every time when your partner questions: where you were or gets pissed off when you don’t reply to their texts instantly.
As there’s a lack of trust, it’s quite obvious your partner won’t trust you for anything and is going to question and be insecure every time. Later, this controlling behaviour can turn to be a sign of abuse.
Dishonesty is a part of a toxic relationship. When your partner comes up with lies, cook up stories about their whereabouts, caught lying and is all done to avoid confrontation.
It’s definitely going to destroy your relationship as disloyalty is not something to look up to and hence should be called off.
6. Feeling Exhausted
When all of your energies and emotions are invested in the other person in a toxic relationship, you’re going to feel drained and exhausted!
Usually, self-care is neglected and after a while, you’ll start noticing that you’ve withdrawn from friends, family and hobbies.
Spend time with yourself, start indulging in hobbies, passion, and health. Make the most of it!
7. You’re Always The Initiator
If your relationship revolves around your partner’s needs and wants, neglecting yourself, then it’s a red flag.
If you often say no to yourself just to agree with your partner, often get exhausted and feel smothered, then you’re probably in a toxic relationship.
It’s often found that there’s one-sided relationship: where you’ll always be the one to initiate conversation, there’s a long gap between the texts and responses, always beating around the bushes (no direct conversations), the other person’s barely interested in taking any responsibility for the relationship.
These are some of the traits of a toxic relationship and if you could relate this, then know it’s time to call it quits.
How to Fix a Toxic Relationship?
There are chances to mend an unhealthy relationship. It can be possible only when your partner desires the same thing.
If your partner’s really interested in working on the relationship and wants to commit, then you both can start from scratch. If required, consult a relationship counselor.
You can either have a talk with a couple of therapists as they give enough space to discuss the issues and help to fix them.
Remember, if your concern for fixing the relationship is the fear of living alone or being single, then none of it’s going to work.
Your mutual goal should be to grow together and work towards making it better. If not, probably you should give up on the relationship.
If one partner is disinterested in working on the relationship and often abuses, demean, belittles the other then, you’ve to call it off.
- There must be a willingness from your partner to invest time, emotions and energy in a relationship. Start having deeper and meaningful conversations. Spend some time together. Work towards making it better!
- Let the bygones be bygones! Start taking the responsibilities. Accept the responsibilities, if given, and reflect on them by showing an interest.
- Stop the blame game for whatever happened. Develop more understanding, if you’re willing to start the conversation.
- If you need external support, reach out to people, they might help you out or can bring the relationship on track.
Unhealthy relations are determined by lack of trust and support, resentment, dominance, dishonesty.
Instead of being together in a team, often it is found that one partner is the initiator, and the other seems disinterested. Maybe just take a break and reflect on yourself!
If you’re in a toxic relationship and have the fear of being single, it’s nothing wrong with being single and giving yourself unconditional space and time, and see how it makes you wonder.
If you’re doubtful, then just go with the intuitions and be a little practical, that will benefit you for the long term.
Have you been in any toxic relationship, and if yes, how did you manage to come out of it? Tell us in the comments section below!
About the Author
Shristi Patni is a content writer and owner of F and B Recipes. She enjoys creating a List of Citrus Fruits or a list of “Things That Make Happy”. Formerly the Chief Content Officer at Raletta, she is currently working on her second cookbook.